I Found These Quotes Today and Liked Them

I found some quotes that I thought were funny. There is some inappropriate language (one word) in one of them, so beware. All of these quotes are from Denis Leary born in 1957.


This would be my luck:
“Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty-five years and you pay it back and then -- one day -- you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then -- one day -- you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe.”


“Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.”


“Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them.”


“I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?”


“Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing.”